Help me revise the essay by my professors comment.Lin1
Ping Lin
Professor Hassman
English 2
Nov. 29
Twilight Bey Stands for Peace Nice title!
Follow MLA formatting guidelines (no extra space here).
Twilight Los Angeles 1992 is a play written by Anna Deavers Smith which is made up of a
series of monologs of the principal participants in the riots following the Rodney King verdict. Not
only the principal participants… She portrays all the roles as this is a one woman show. Deavers has
done her research and her monologs are based on interviews she conducted to arrive at a true sense of
the emotional and intellectual impact of each of the people involved during this historic time in
American history. There is no attempt to try and imitate each character or inject her own opinion into
her individual portrayals. Her intent is to effectively channel everything the individual experienced
during this event. Wouldn’t that be imitation? This is a bit confusing. One of those characters and
(some words missing here or something else has gone awry, the sentence doesn’t make sense)
investigate their role and reaction to what happened during this violent response to one of the most
controversial verdicts ever will be analyzed in this paper. Do not reference the paper in itself. Speak to
a universal (educated) audience.
This paragraph is focused on the play and Smith and doesn’t mention Bey at all and Bey is the focus of
the paper according to the title. We need to leave this paragraph knowing the paper’s thesis.
The Los Angeles riots following the Rodney King verdict that acquitted five police officers in
his brutal beating and subsequent death left fifty people dead and thousands injured. But King did not
die from his beating… Those who participated in the riots and the police officers involved will never
forget what happened during the trial and the tumultuous six days that followed. Deavers play focuses
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on many of the participants involved but Twilight Bey, whose first name is used in the title. The
sentence is unfinished. Beys character is represented in the final monolog of the play. Bey is a gang
truce organizer who works tirelessly to try and bridge the gap of tension between the inner city gangs
of Los Angeles and the citys police force. He is a compassionate man who only wants peace and will
do his best to see that peace is achieved. He got his nickname “Twilight” because when he was a
teenager he used to stay awake every night to make sure everyone in his neighborhood was safe. Fully
introduce the quote. “And that was my thing. I was a watchdog.” (“Twilight Bey”) In the monolog, he
thinks about the true meaning of the word “twilight” and explains it is a period of limbo between the
day and the night. Symbolically, it represents himself and the divide between the police and African
Americans who are in limbo because they cannot solve their differences and potential conflict before it
ends in violence and death. It could! But why do you say it does? He blames the daytime confusion and
hatred for what happens at night and has taken on the role of mediator in trying to diffuse these
situations. He analyzes the word “twilight” by saying that “twi” is short for the word “twice” and “light”
represents knowledge and wisdom. “So twilight. I have twice the knowledge of those my age and twice
the understanding of those my age.” (“Twilight Bey”) The thesis still isn’t presented. We kind of have
a soup of statements here that aren’t organized yet.
Twilight Bey is a dedicated individual with a good heart who only wants to help the conflict
between the police and angry protesters. But he also wants to find peace between gangs. His role isn’t
only about the police… More people like him are needed even today as we see racial tensions are as
evident as they were during these riots which took place decades ago. Bey was originally a gang
member himself before he took on the role of peacemaker. “In order for me to be a true human being, I
cant forever dwell in an idea. I cant forever dwell in darkness and I cant forever dwell in the idea of
identifying with people just like me and understanding me and mine.” (“Twilight Bey”) Here is a
dedicated individual who believes peace is possible if people would just open their minds and see life
more clearly. There has to be an increased level of understanding of the differences between people of
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different races and the authority whose job it is to keep the peace. Stay focused on the character you are
meant to analyze, don’t start analyzing the world! We can’t do that in this small space. He believes that
once people leave the instability of twilight and look further for the light of understanding, they will
broaden their scope and be able to see how to achieve the peace that society needs in order to flourish.
Is twilight unstable? Where is this idea coming from? It has a different meaning here than what is
presented earlier about safety. In any case, what is the thesis? If it is about peacemaking, we need to
focus there specifically and hope there is any counterargument since it is a fairly clear observation (and
not an argument, not something to give you work to do/something to prove).
Twilight Bey is an inspiration for all people, black or white, to put away their differences and
look towards peace and harmony. He understands that hatred and violence never has a place in the
world and always leads to tragedy and sorrow. He is truly a gifted individual who cares about people.
He wants people to look towards the future by keeping an open mind and avoiding quick and rash
decisions that could lead to a violent altercation. He has seen it happen all too much as a former gang
member and has dedicated his life to stand up for change. This is a goal that he still pursues even today.
We need sources for most of this and in any case, a good rule of thumb is to include one bit of textual
support per paragraph. He does believe that people can solve their differences and learn to live in a
peaceful society but they must try to understand each others perspective. Society must work to leave
the constraints of limbo and work to move further towards the light and away from darkness. Again,
isn’t twilight/limbo the free-ing time according to Bey? The paper seems to argue against itself. The
darkness is filled with fear and despair. Hatred and violence never solve anything. It just breeds more
violence and that is not the kind of society that we deserve to live in. Again, stay focused on the
character you are here to analyze. When such statements as these are made, it reads as moralizing.
Twilight Beys tone of voice is always confident and calm. He is sincere in his attempt to reach
a peaceful resolution in the racial divide between the police and the African American community. Bey
does not shout his message but his honesty and truth are evident in his demeanor and his actions.
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People can be loud and scream and be honest… He is very poetic and has an artists soul. Why does
this matter? He truly wants peace and knows that hard work and determination are necessary in order to
achieve it. He can have a positive effect on other African Americans and the police because he speaks
as somebody who has been there. He wants people to achieve wisdom and understanding so they can
influence others to work towards the light and leave the darkness of hatred behind. The fact that his
monolog is at the end of the play is no accident. The playwright makes the choice to leave the audience
with Beys message. It is something to think about as they leave the theater; something to learn and a
means of finding a path to peace. We’re also not analyzing Smith’s intention, right? The prompt needs
to guide you through every sentence. If you aren’t answering the question of the prompt, you are
writing a different paper.
There is not one element of dishonesty or an attempt at an agenda in anything Bey says. But he
does have an agenda and you’ve been sharing it. “Agenda” isn’t a dirty word, right? He is coming from
a source of truth, understanding and hope and he is really an important purveyor of truth in todays
society. The only wish for him is that his message had more of an effect and that people would listen
to him. How do you know this? Based on recent events, it sadly doesnt seem like many people are
listening. The recent rash of violence that has taken place between African Americans and the police in
the inner cities has been discouraging and sad. The random violence by police and angry citizens has
been a frightening result of the hatred and mistrust communities still have towards those in authority
and vice versa. Yes, there is inequality and injustice and that is wrong. We are not having a
conversation, speak formally. But if we follow the lead of what Twilight Bey has been talking about,
then we will collectively work towards binding our wounds and beginning a new spirit of cooperation,
hope, and peace.
In conclusion, Twilight Bey is a sincere person who truly wants to help society get better. He
was in a gang so he knows how wrong violence is and that nothing is accomplished as a result. Is this
logical? Does being in a gang ensure that one knows that violence is wrong? Does violence never
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accomplish anything? It certainly does, all the time. Lets listen to Bey and work to leave the limbo that
our world has been spinning in for decades and really throughout our history. It is time for the change,
and people like Twilight Bey help us move toward leaving the peril and sorrow of darkness so they can
live their lives in the light of peace.
Works Cited
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Anna Deavere Smith, (1994). Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. First Anchor. Where was this used?
You Tube. “Twilight Bey”. Online video clip. You Tube, February 14, 2012. Web, November 23, 2016.
But where was this used?
It’s clear that you learned a great deal about Twilight Bey, Ling, and what we need you to do with that
is present an analysis of what you’ve learned. What I’m saying here is largely a restatement of the
details about him. There’s emphasis, certainly, on his most notable trait, that he works for peace, but
even if the paper were organized tightly around that idea, it would still be an observation as it is.
Remember that in rhetoric/critical analysis it is crucial that we have work to do, to think on the page.
You want to tell your audience what is not obvious and that isn’t happening here even if I imagine
organization. That said, we are hurting for organization here as the thesis is still something I’m only
guessing at thanks to the title and the repeated point made. I hope what I’m saying here isn’t surprising
but I think, thanks to the great work in Paper One, that you know what is expected and something went
wrong here, perhaps a time crunch. If I am surprising you, let’s please talk so we can be sure that you
are moving through your final paper with clarity about presenting a contentious thesis and organizing
throughout (including, importantly, addressing counterargument!), much as we saw with your first
paper. I look forward to hearing from you and to your success. Thank you. C (Please remember to
properly cite sources on the final so that this omission doesn’t impact your grade.)

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